Getting Back into the Game: Dating Tips for Men

datingI’m convinced “game” is good for men. When people spend long hiatuses, whether from dry spells due to a work schedule, or a failed relationship that leaves one feeling depressed and unmotivated, then guys experience a lot of bad effects. They become less youthful, less invigorated, and their libido is often wasted on pornography or it simply becomes an unused commodity. I think it leads to bad health, a lack of vigor, and premature aging. In addition, a guy will often need to be “rebooted” and need a fresh course of dating tips for men to get back into the swing of things.

Like most guys, I know what this is like all too well. There is a saying about how people in their late 20s are suddenly far less excited about going out and meeting people, and I think this is mostly because by around age 26 or 27, most have had their share of clubbing and feel “over it”. However, this feeling of apathy is actually related to the ending of one’s first or second serious relationship, and then entering into a kind of funk or depression that sometimes never goes away. For me, combinations of this and heavy workloads have spelled long periods of not doing anything remotely exciting or social.

Of course, I became motivated to be a dating coach because I can recognize these symptoms, and part of the joy of life is overcoming challenges. “Returning to game” is almost periodical for me, coming in waves, with my game often offset by either entering (and ending) a new relationship, or becoming bogged down by work and non-meeting-girls-related-stuff. (In addition, I sometimes find myself just trying to save money by not buying gin and tonics and paying huge cover fees 5 nights a week).

It’s true, however, that some guys are social superheroes–the expert “pickup artists” who go out steady 7 nights a week for years to become the masters of their trade. These guys are a peculiar but amazing oddity, and I don’t really think this extreme is healthy, either. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s bad to party every single bloody night. There has to be some balance, folks. (Not that I don’t admire these people in an odd way!)

That being said, finding such balance involves pulling yourself OUT OF said dry spells and getting back into the game without allowing a slow period to consume your life and turn you into an aging, depressing, boring old dude. Here’s some tips:

Plan Your Schedule: Here’s a good time to evaluate your schedule. Something I always recommend considering the possibility you are working too much, and evaluating if you even have any free time anymore. If not, it’s time to balance some shit out in your life. If you have to work two jobs to keep up huge car payments, I’m afraid to say it might be time to trade that Lexus in (image is nothing). I really don’t think people should work more than 40 hours a week. If you go past this, you won’t have enough energy to go out and do stuff you WANT to do, like getting back into the game.

Start Jogging or Going to the Gym versus Staying Home: Examine your “me time” and figure out what you’re spending your time doing. Odds are, it involves X-Box Live and / or Game of Thrones on Netflix–a habit I actually highly support (the creative arts and fantasy worlds inspire the human soul to greater potential), but now is not the time for couch-melding. Do anything to get yourself OUT of the house with your blood circulating. This is going to increase your mood, your fitness level, and put you in the emotional state to start meeting people again.

Go Out Alone: (This reminds me to write a post about going out alone) — Now it’s time to get back into the habit of going out, and doing it often. Force yourself out of the house, don’t rely on scheduling with your equally boring friends, and start meeting people. Bars and nightclubs is Plan A, but start mass-joining groups, as well. Your point is to make friends, that’s the best path to meeting girls, as well.

Work Rooms: On the same note, when you do go clubbing, learn to “work rooms”, meeting as many people as you can, shaking hands, and doing what some call “being the mayor”. This is the best way to start meeting and networking without dealing with the high pressure nature of doing “pickup”. Meet everybody, don’t discriminate, and see if new friends will introduce you to ladies. It will happen eventually!

There you have it, these are the big dating tips for men who are getting back into the game again. At least, this covers the “meeting girls” part. A lot more can be spoken of once you’re seeing someone steady again, but I’ll save that for another article ;-) till next time.

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