(The following is a guest post by Sebastian at Global Seducers).
What do you think when you hear the expressions Pickup Artist and Seducer? You probably think that both of these expressions describe men who approach women on a regular basis, who have many dates and who end up in bed with a lot of beautiful women.
This is not exactly the case for all self-proclaimed PUAs or wannabe Casanovas. However, one thing the successful pickup artists and seducers in this world do have in common is that they have exciting dating lives.
However, claiming that both of those types of men have the same beliefs, act the same way around women and have the same lifestyle would be a huge mistake. The inexperienced eye might see the same guy, but the context they act in is completely different.
Besides the fact that he approaches women and has sex from time to time, a real seducer has nothing in common with a pickup artist in the traditional sense. Both of those men made a choice that couldn’t be more different.
It is most likely that the real seducer started his path by being a pickup artist, until he reached the next level of consciousness and decided to improve himself and his life. I truly hope to inspire all the self-proclaimed PUAs out there to get ready for the next level of their development.
The Fake Persona vs. the Real Man
In the title of the article I already gave you a hint that reveals one of the main differences between both of those men. By talking about a real seducer I also mean that such a man behaves real. Every successful seducer knows that the key to success with women and to a high self-esteem that you need in order to be successful with women, is realness.
A real seducer who is at peace with himself and who knows his values won’t have any problem to be 100% authentic around women and to only say what he truly thinks. Honesty and authenticity are not values that the typical PUA adheres to.
Instead of being honest and authentic, a pickup artist is all about maintaining a façade. He might do this by dressing up, by trying to demonstrate higher value through fictional stories, or by using memorized pickup lines in order to avoid expressing his real feelings.
Unless the PUA develops into an actual seducer, he will always stay within this fake persona and as a result of this he will attract the type of girls who fall for this. This is definitely not the best way to find a girl who is truly interested in his real self.
Leave Your Ego at the Door
I came into contact with the Pick Up community in the same way as everyone else did. I googled “how to pick up girls” and ended up browsing through forums in which men bragged about having slept with a certain number of girls while they were ranking the physical appearance of the women with a scale from 1 to 10.
Back then I didn’t know how obstructive this behavior was. After I left the concept of PUA behind me and developed to a real seducer, I realized how ego driven this whole concept was. Instead of helping other men those guys were only interested in making other men believe that they are the kings. I guess that maybe 10% of all the guys who write in those forums actually experience what they write about.
Today I am glad that I took another path. I wanted to develop to a man who is not driven by his ego. I was determined to destroy my ego with the most challenging and awkward exercises that you can think of (thanks Sasha Daygame).
I was also determined to share what I have learned and to help other men who struggle with women. If my behavior would still be ego driven, I would have allowed myself to share my success stories, but I would have never allowed myself to share my failures and my struggles.
A real seducer doesn’t care about his ego. He wants to seduce women, no matter what other people think of him. He doesn’t tell his friends the names of the girls he slept with and he also doesn’t rate them with a scale from 1 to 10. For him, all the women he slept with are beautiful.
Design Your Lifestyle
Like every guy who comes in contact with the PUA community, I began to approach girls, and once I overcame my approach anxiety – I did it excessively and I invested all my time and energy into approaching women.
Nowadays I am thankful that I did this back then, because it was necessary to integrate approaching women as a habit into my life. However, I am also thankful that I continued to work on myself and that I realized that life consists of more than approaching girls.
Most Pick Up Artists have the problem that they dedicate their life to one certain aspect of the seduction process and neglect all the other parts. They approach as many women as possible in order to sleep with a lot of girls they can write about on their favorite forum.
If you want to reach the next level and become a real seducer, you have to understand that success in life and especially success with women consists of more than approaching girls. A real seducer knows that knowledge about the art of seduction, learning all the subtleties for the process of seducing a woman and mastering the other aspects of your life are all essential components for a fulfilled life as a real seducer.
