Few things can hurt an interaction more than gender superiority and gender inferiority complexes. This can occur among those who feel that the opposite gender is to blame for their problems in life, or among those who believe their own gender is either superior or inferior, placing the opposite sex on either a pedestal of worship; or kicking them to the mud.
These unhealthy attitudes frequently occur among misogynistic men, as well as women who are affiliated with destructive versions of the feminist movement. In addition, some men also prescribe to their own type of self-deprecating points of view related to their masculinity. In other words, self-described “male hardcore feminists” who feel ashamed of their gender’s historical role in female persecution, and openly state that they are inferior to their female overlords. Sometimes women from very conservative, rural backgrounds may possess a similar inferiority complex and a belief that men are superior to them. This is also bad news.
In almost all of these situations, those in question need to be reminded that we’re living in the 21st century. For an example, the author of “The Lord of the Flies”, William R. Golding, is famously quoted: “I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.” However, Golding grew up during the Great Depression, a time when women in the United States had just been given equal rights to vote, and discrimination was rampant. If I had been living in that generation, I may have felt similar cynicism.
However, even during the height of discrimination, there is never an excuse for one gender to be placed above the other—even if it is for the purposes of “counter balancing” a misaligned system. Fixing gender inequality by placing another gender above the other is like ending racism by declaring one race superior to all of the others.
If you don’t believe that this is really a thing, here are some quotes by well-known feminists:
“Romance is rape embellished with meaningful looks.” Andrea Dworkin in the Philadelphia Inquirer, May 21, 1995.
“Who cares how men feel or what they do or whether they suffer? They have had over 2000 years to dominate and made a complete hash of it. Now it is our turn. My only comment to men is, if you don’t like it, bad luck – and if you get in my way I’ll run you down.” — Letter to the Editor: “Women’s Turn to Dominate” — Signed: Liberated Women, Boronia — Herald-Sun, Melbourne, Australia – 9 February 1996.
“When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression.” — Sheila Jeffrys.
I have a novel idea that may serve as an alternative to the quotes you’re reading (that are likely making you experience a dizzying, semi-nauseous bout of disbelief): both men and women are equal, women like sex, men like sex, men like to work good jobs, women like to work good jobs, and everyone can just be happy.
While it seems few but the most extreme willingly subscribe to misogyny or misandry, I do think certain aspects of these ideas persist in modern culture—whether destructive feminism or male sexism that is encapsulated by icons like Tucker Max (who probably isn’t as bad as he’s made out to be, but he makes for a great example).
For women, these ideas manifest as the victimhood mentality where there ought to be none. For instance, if a woman is the least paid employee in a big firm of full of men—then yeah, it’s a huge problem. If, however, a woman blames sexist editors for a magazine with scantily clad girls, but will happily indulge in a poster of a shirtless rock-star like Kid Rock fondling a guitar, then it’s hypocrisy to view the celebration of sexuality through a one-sided gender prism.
Furthermore, any *modern* woman who blames a type of collected patriarchy for all of her problems in life—such as the consistent career difficulties we all deal with—is upholding a victim mentality instead of first taking individual responsibility.
The exception to this statement occurs, naturally, if a woman lives in rural Utah or an Islamic theocracy, where sadly women are still outright oppressed by true patriarchies. However, I assure you in this day and age, a modern European, English, or American woman is NOT being constrained anymore by any type of mass patriarchy, unless she belongs to a very religious, conservative community in her city — or a REALLY bad, sexist workplace.
…Or, unless she has an overactive imagination and assigns blame to invisible demons.
As for men; while clearly male culture comes from a background of gender superiority complexes, it just isn’t a rampant problem anymore with the exception of those occasional loud, annoying and undeveloped guys who continue to spread dark ideas. And yeah, misogyny is still an issue in these cases. But, these days it has become a problem to be addressed on an individual basis, and it’s a problem that is ultimately cured by education.
As an example: anybody who calls a woman a slut or a whore, or otherwise demeans women as sexual trophies, is propagating a type of immature sexist class of men who incubate in colleges and then catapult their immaturity into the unsuspecting world.
These men also corrupt sexuality by simultaneously seeking sex while demeaning women who perform sex, thus discouraging healthy sexual views (“Bitch won’t sleep with me / that slut sleeps with everyone.”).
They hide their rage from failed relationships through the spectrum of hatred against the entire gender. They feel inadequate because quality women do not accept them, and so they begin a slow destructive process of re-imagining femininity as something separate from themselves (instead of realizing how all men and women contain aspects of both genders). Once femininity is an alien phenomenon, they attack it.
In Summary
The reason I discuss this issue is simple: to have misogynistic or misandryistic qualities will hurt your relationships forever. It will inhibit your abilities to find a mate, to carry on a healthy respectful relationship, and it may promote a victimhood mentality that will endanger your success in other areas of your life.
What you must do, therefore, is create a zero tolerance policy against sexist attitudes in your life. This point is just as important for women, during a time when feminism is hopefully transitioning further beyond the destructive, darker aspects of this movement that were more common in yesteryear.
Finally, for more great perspectives about current gender dynamics, I’d suggest one of my new favorite YouTube speakers, Karen Straughan.
If you enjoyed this article, consider taking a look around my bookstore, where I provide many more resources about your career, love life, and tons more topics.
