Every guy has dreams; as it’s part of our masculine instinct to achieve forward momentum, obtain impossible goals, and climb to the top of the pyramid. However, most of us have problems realizing our full potential.
Most likely the thing that’s really holding you back is that your network of potential partners, supporters, friends and allies is too thin. To enhance your odds of success, it’s important to learn the networking tips of the masters.
Get Off the Internet
The first important point to consider is that your true network has very little to do with your Twitter followers or Facebook fans. The real question is who do you know, in real life, with potential employment opportunities? Who trusts you and can rely on you? Likewise, who can you rely upon?
While some of these people may also appear on your Linked In or Facebook accounts, your relationship cannot be limited to that of your virtual friends. This means you must minimize virtual contact and promote real mingling with real people as much as possible.
Likewise, attempting to network solely online is a disaster. Everybody cops out these days and just tries to add people all day. You can’t form a real connection this way. Random adds on social media is completely impersonal, and you cannot develop trusting relationships with anybody unless they can see your face, observe your body language, and feel your handshake.
Frequent One Venue
So, now that you’ve realized networking solely online is a huge mistake, where can you go in the living, breathing world?
One idea is to attend one venue and become a regular.
This could be a nighttime lounge, bar, or even nightclub. The idea is to attend the same place as frequently as you can until you know all of the other regulars.
Obviously, you want to pick a spot that’s high quality because if your network becomes 16 bar slobs who smell like urine, this will do absolutely nothing good for you. Instead, find a location where specific industry professionals frequent. For instance, if you’re a tech guy, you can’t go wrong becoming a local haunt to an evening lounge in Silicon Valley.
Use Meetup.com
If you’re out of luck looking for venues, another idea is to try Meetup.com as a way to find professional groups and opportunities to connect with locals. The trick is avoid Meetups that are not fitting for you. If you’re trying to network professionally, you won’t find much luck at the weekend Rocky Horror Picture Show Club.
(Unless, of course, you’re trying to break into the bohemian, mascara wearing artist industry, in which case the Rocky Horror Picture Show Meetup might be a good idea after-all.)
Instead, the Young Professionals club, Toastmasters, or even hiking / dancing / yoga / fitness groups, are all more likely to be filled with the types of people who you want to connect with. Think outside of the box and imagine the types of hobbies and activities professional, successful people enjoy in their spare time.
Seek Friendship First
Naturally, conversations always drift toward what you do for a living. But, resist the temptation to immediately solicit your new contacts for work / opportunities / whatever.
What tends to happen is that you first develop an actual friendship with a person who has similar interests. You communicate regularly, they find out about your strengths, and then they start introducing you to more people in your industry, or they invite you to be part of some new company or project.
It’s only after somebody really gets to know you that they feel they can trust you to be part of big things.
Offer Value
What you really want to do with your network is be the first to offer value versus solicit value. Here are some ways to do this:
- Find out what somebody is working on, and offer to help for free.
- Introduce people to the connections that THEY need.
- Help to organize events or professional events without asking for anything in return.
- Offer solid, proven advice or strategies to assist people with their goals.
By extending yourself in this way, you’ll be considered a valuable asset and your opportunities are going to multiply.
Have Good Social Skills
Finally, all of your networking opportunities will be for naught if your social skills are very poor. From fidgety habits, clingy behavior, to being easily offended—there are a lot of things you have to straighten out before you can successfully mingle. One resource to help with this is, of course, my book How to Become a Powerful, Sexy Man.
In Summary
These networking tips are designed to help you become a man with utility—that is, with value to offer to people around you. By seeking to give back to people instead of “get”, you’ll find the scale to which “luck” and opportunities appear in your life compared to your friends and peers will be unmistakable.
